


sad, beautiful, tragic

by captain_kriegy



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: College Roommates, Drunk Driving, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Minor Character Death, brief mention of suicidal ideation, past emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:28:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_kriegy/pseuds/captain_kriegy
Summary: maya and eliza were college roommates and track teammates who fell for each other."we had a beautiful magic love there,what a beautiful tragic love affair"-taylor swift
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Eliza Minnick
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	sad, beautiful, tragic

**Author's Note:**

> as a heads up, i have changed the name of Eliza's twin from "Carina" (as it sounds like it is pronounced from the deleted scene where Eliza talks about her) to "Katrina" because of obvious potential confusion.

“Come on Lize,” Maya says, her breath heavy as they approached the last mile of the NCAA Cross Country Nationals. Both Maya and Eliza were in the top pack since the beginning of the race, in a group of about nine women that they knew was soon about to string out towards the finish. Maya and Eliza both run for the same team, so they run together for as long as they can. Eventually, Eliza drops off, and Maya surges ahead, fighting for the individual title. Eliza rounds the corner to the home stretch just in time to see Maya barreling through the finish line—first. Maya turns around, hunched over in complete exhaustion, and Eliza pushes herself as hard as she can. 

“COME ON, MINNICK!” She hears faintly in the background, much more assertive this time. She could pull out Maya’s voice anywhere. Eliza’s calves are burning and her right hip is aching with every step. She feels like her body weighs five hundred pounds as she sprints towards the finish. She lifts her eyes and keeps her gaze trained on Maya as she tries to pass the woman running to her left. She’s seeing spots, her throat runs dry, and she can barely breathe, but this is what she lives for. This is what it feels like to be alive.

She flies through the finish line less than a second before the woman to her left, and almost collapses into Maya’s arms. They stumble onto the sidelines, laughing as they sit down next to each other, being ushered out of the way. Eliza moves to stretch her hip, visibly grimacing. 

“You okay?” Maya asks, a bit concerned. 

“Yeah, it’s just a little sore. Nothing terrible,” Eliza assures her. She pulls her into a hug once her hip feels a bit looser, their sweat-covered bodies touching. “So proud of you, Bishop.” 

“You too.”

It’s their second NCAA Cross Country Championships. The year before, Maya had finished second individually, outrun by a senior from Arkansas. Eliza, as Maya’s relatively new roommate and friend, had seen the way Maya seethed over it for days. Maya hadn’t lost a single race since, taking home her first NCAA titles in the 5,000 and 10,000 meters during the track season her freshman spring. And one year later, Maya had just won her first NCAA Cross Country individual title. The team comes in second, which Eliza knows Maya is a bit mad about, but they focus on the individual win. Eliza is the second runner home from Oregon, finishing seventh individually. 

They spend the afternoon stretching, cooling their bodies down, and getting cleaned up before the celebration that night. Maya doesn’t drink—but she certainly lets her hair down on the odd occasion, and this is one of those occasions. 

“To the individual cross country champion!” Eliza says, clapping her Diet Coke together with Maya’s water. Maya laughs and smiles and takes a drink. They love their team, but the two of them are certainly an impenetrable sub-unit within the team. All of their teammates admire and adore Maya in the way that everyone can’t help but adore someone so accomplished, and they love having her as a leader, but Maya’s a bit too intense for most of them to consider a good friend. Eliza, however, is different. 

The CCT&F team assigns its team members to each other as roommates as freshmen, in order to build connections within the team. When Eliza first was assigned to room with Maya Bishop, she was nervous. Maya was the first high school athlete to ever win four Nike Cross Nationals titles. She broke and set records—her own records—constantly. She was the top recruit in their class year, and had chosen Oregon. The fact that Eliza was going to be on a team with Maya Bishop was intimidating enough. Being her roommate was a bit terrifying. 

But she quickly got over her intimidation, finding it replaced by a deep respect and admiration. Maya is the most intense person Eliza has ever met. And she is pretty intense herself. Maya lives on a rigid schedule, is religious about eating healthy and taking care of her body, and will let absolutely nothing stand in her way of winning. But Eliza quickly learns that Maya is also the best cheerleader she has ever had, and the most supportive teammate and roommate and friend she could ask for. Maya is the person who will drag you off the ground at practice and give you the motivation you need to finish the drill. She’s the one who will shout at you not to drop her in a race, making you stick with her as long as you physically can. She’s the person who will read your Biology textbook out loud to you when you have a concussion; the person who will always cook two servings of whatever she’s eating in case you’re hungry; the person who will crawl in your bed and hold you when you’re having a bad day.

Most people don’t see this side of Maya. They see a hardcore teammate who will scoff at you if you skip a sit up or yell to you to run faster if you’re slowing the team down. But they don’t see the Maya Eliza sees—the Maya who is tender and caring and generous. 

Until Eliza, Maya never had a close friend. It’s not that she wasn’t friendly with her teammates in high school, but she was just in a completely different universe than them as a runner, and her father kept her on a tight leash. She lived on her own planet, lapping them on the track and dropping them less than a quarter mile in on the cross country course. It was always lonely at the top. Eliza’s not as good as her as a runner—she’s not threatening—but she’s on the same planet. Eliza is a standout individual runner, both in cross country and in the steeplechase events on the track, and she’s a superstar teammate. Maya may be the legs behind the team, but Eliza is the heart. She speaks Bishop, as her teammates joke, and always knows how to keep everyone on the same page. Where Maya will yell at someone to get up when they’re struggling, Eliza will put a comforting hand on their back and help them up.

Maya’s tactics can be a bit brutal. But Eliza has never held it against her, because her first ever interaction with Maya was on move-in day freshman year, with Maya’s parents. Maya’s father had demanded that she leave her walls bare and lectured her for a full twenty minutes on how she can’t start drinking and going to parties and has to keep her stretching routine. The night Maya had come in second in the Cross Country Championships their freshman year, Eliza had not-so-accidentally eavesdropped as her father chewed her out and reminded her that “second place is just the first loser.” Eliza had then climbed into Maya’s bed to hold her as she cried. They never spoke of that night—or Maya’s father—but it meant that Eliza didn’t mind Maya’s tactics because she knew where they originated from. Maya had always been given brutality and tough love, and that’s what she thinks of as how to best be supportive. She thinks she’s helping. And sometimes, she is. Sometimes, people need someone to yell at them to get up off the ground and finish the set. 

“That Bishop girl is good for you,” Eliza’s mom would say. “You’re running better, you seem happy. You have structure. You’re not drinking much.” Eliza would roll her eyes, because her mom was overbearing, and then her twin, Katrina, would pipe in. 

“Her name is Maya, and she makes Eliza all heart eyes,” Katrina would insist. “You should see the two of them together. I swear, they’re made for each other.” 

“Oh my god, shut up!” Eliza replies. “It’s not like that, we are just friends. She’s my roommate!” 

Such was the case, until the night they celebrated Maya’s individual win in the Cross Country Championships their sophomore year. Maya and Eliza were huddled together in a corner, Maya questioning Eliza on the condition of her right hip. Eliza insisted it was fine, just a bit tight from overuse in the training before Nationals, and that it would be fine with some rest. Maya leaned in and placed her hand on Eliza’s hip, pressing down in a couple of places to make sure nothing was sore to the touch. Eliza feels Maya’s presence close to her, Maya’s body inches away from her, her hand on her hip. Maya’s wearing skin tight dark wash jeans with converse, a crop top, and a leather jacket. 

“Okay. Let me know if anything changes,” Maya insists. They lock eyes, blue-green meeting green. Maya has the most intense stare of anyone she’s ever met—when Maya looks at her, she feels every inch of emotion that Maya’s experiencing at that given moment. 

“Promise,” Eliza replies, her hand subconsciously falling to Maya’s hip. Their faces are so close together that Maya can feel her breath against her face. 

“Maybe we should, uh, go back to our rooms? Let you rest this hip?” Maya suggests. Eliza can only bring herself to nod. 

They don’t know what comes over them that night. Maybe it’s the adrenaline high of Maya winning the individual title, of Eliza jumping from her thirty-sixth place finish freshman year to seventh this year. Maybe it’s the environment—the hotel, the group celebration, away from campus, none of their teammates paying attention to them. Maybe it’s the leather jacket covering Maya’s toned biceps or the way Eliza’s white jeans hug her hips. But the second the door to their room closes, Eliza presses Maya against the wall and leans in to kiss her. 

“Is this okay?” Eliza asks, her lips centimeters from Maya’s. Maya leans forward to close the gap between their lips. The kiss is soft and tentative, and Maya feels like she’s experiencing it out-of-body. Before she can panic too much about the obvious potential consequences of kissing her roommate and only real friend, Eliza deepens the kiss and Maya forgets everything. 

Maya is usually the one in control in sexual situations. But with Eliza, she melts and can’t even think straight. Her hands slide down to Eliza’s lower back, her thumb toying with the belt loop on her jeans. Eliza opens her mouth and presses against her and a sigh comes tumbling out of Maya’s mouth as her head rests against the wall and Eliza’a tongue finds its way into her mouth. 

They kiss for what feels like forever, learning each other’s mouths, nipping and sucking and kissing, figuring out exactly what sounds they can get from the other. Eliza learns that Maya loves having her lower lip bit and sucked, and Maya learns that Eliza loves long, deep, kisses that get a little rough. 

Maya thumbs Eliza’s belt loop with one hand, and the other slides down to squeeze her ass gently. Eliza moans in her mouth and her hand slides between their bodies to rest on her toned stomach. Maya finally breaks the kiss and opens her eyes. She waits a beat until Eliza opens hers, too. They both kick off their shoes and then Maya starts to walk Eliza backwards towards the bed before pushing her down to sit on the edge. Eliza tugs Maya to stand between her legs and pushes Maya’s jacket off her shoulders, letting it fall behind her. Maya then pulls her crop top over her head before unsnapping her bra, throwing it down to the floor along with her shirt. 

Eliza’s jaw drops and her eyes widen. She grabs Maya by the top of her jeans and pulls her down on top of her, and Maya straddles her hips while Eliza lays back on the bed. Maya slowly unbuttons Eliza’s black blouse, tugging it out of her pants. Eliza pulls her arms out of it and Maya throws it aside as well. Eliza is wearing a tiny black, lace bra that doesn’t do much to cover her, and Maya bites down on her lip in anticipation. She rests her hands on Eliza’s abs and stares openly. Eliza shivers under her intense gaze. She wants to tease Maya for staring, but can’t bring herself to speak. Maya leans down and kisses her lips gently. Eliza’s hands roam Maya’s bare back and she pushes down on her lower back gently. 

“Let me feel you,” Eliza mumbles. Maya lays down so that their bare chests are pressed together as they kiss, and they both moan at the feeling. Eliza breaks the kiss and her back arches up, her head falling back. Another moan escapes from her lips as she feels Maya’s full breasts press against her smaller ones, Maya’s nipples hard against her skin. Maya brings her lips to her exposed neck, pressing gentle kisses down the column of her throat and then back up again. Eliza’s body is on fire, and she lets out a strangled moan when Maya kisses the spot right under her pulse point. Maya licks over the spot before sucking on it gently, feeling Eliza squirm and pant under her. Maya bites down gently and Eliza whines. Maya kisses over it to soothe the spot one more time before tilting her chin towards her and kissing her lips gently. 

“Arch your back for me,” Maya mumbles, and Eliza complies. Maya’s hand slides under her back and she unsnaps her bra before pulling the straps down her arms slowly. Maya slowly licks down her neck and between her breasts before kissing a line down her stomach. Eliza’s back lifts off the bed once again when Maya’s tongue finds its way to her breasts. She licks over her nipple before gently taking it into her mouth. She treats both of her nipples to a gentle sucking before pulling back and kissing back up to her lips again. 

Eliza surprises her when she roughly rolls them over and pushes Maya onto her back. Maya lets out a squeal as her back hits the bed. 

“You thought I was going to let you take control?” Eliza questions smugly, her eyes dark and her pupils blown. Maya laughs and roams Eliza’s hips. The way Maya looks at her like she wants to ravish her sends sparks down her spine. They’ve seen each other topless before—they are roommates and teammates. But never like this. They have never stared openly at each other and let their minds go down that road before. 

“If I wanted control I’d still have it,” Maya retorts. Eliza arches an eyebrow and then brings her mouth down next to Maya’s ear. 

“Keep telling yourself that,” Eliza teases, before taking her earlobe into her mouth and tugging it gently with her teeth. Maya arches up into her and Eliza kisses and sucks on the spot behind her ear. Maya lets out a moan and Eliza bites it surprisingly hard, making Maya let out a deep, strangled gasp. 

“Fuck, what are you doing to me,” Maya mumbles. Eliza licks over it and kisses it again. 

“You have sensitive ears,” Eliza teases. She quickly learns that Maya is surprisingly sensitive—not just her ears, but also her neck. Eliza runs her teeth across her neck and Maya bites her lip to hold back a moan. She kisses down across her collarbone, sucking on it gently, knowing she’s covering Maya in hickeys. “I know you’re trying to be quiet, but I want to hear you,” Eliza tells her. 

“I’m not trying,” Maya mumbles, unconvincing. 

“Your lip is going to start bleeding soon if you keep biting on it that hard,” Eliza teases, kissing her lips and soothing them with her tongue. “It’s okay to be loud,” she adds. Maya scoffs, and Eliza laughs at her, chalking it up to her stubbornness. 

When Eliza licks over her nipple, Maya can’t help the moan that falls from her lips. Eliza sucks on each of them, licking back and forth between them. She then tries to suck as much of her boob into her mouth as she can, squeezing the other gently as she runs her tongue across the other. Maya has the most beautiful, full, perky breasts, and they make Eliza’s brain short-circuit. She sucks them both until they’re red and swollen and Maya is panting and a thin line of sweat is forming on her chest. Eliza then places her chin right between her breasts and looks up at her.

“Look at me,” Eliza tells her. Maya opens her eyes and holds herself up on her elbows so she can look at Eliza. 

“What?” Maya asks, a bit confused and far too turned on to think properly. 

“Nothing, I just want to see your face when I eat your pussy,” Eliza teases. Maya bites on her lip, and Eliza kisses down her stomach again before unbuttoning her jeans and unzipping them. Maya has to help her get them down her thighs and off her legs, both of them laughing as Eliza fruitlessly tugs at the tight jeans. Once they’re finally off and out of the way, Maya settles back on her elbows and Eliza starts kissing up the insides of her thick, muscular thighs. “Feel free to strangle me with these,” Eliza teases, squeezing one of her thighs as she pulls off Maya’s soaked black boyshorts. 

“You keep teasing me and I would be happy to,” Maya retorts. And then all thoughts fly out of Maya’s head as Eliza starts to lick her. She falls back on the bed and her back arches up as Eliza pushes her thighs further apart so she has more room to work. Eliza starts by gently licking up her slit a couple of times before she sucks on her clit. “Fuck,” Maya groans. 

Eliza quickly becomes immersed in the moment. In seeing Maya splayed out on the bed under her, her head tilting into the blanket below her, arching her back, red marks forming on her neck and chest, her hard, swollen, nipples on her breasts that sway with her movements, her thick, muscular thighs spread wide. In hearing Maya pant and the little sounds of pleasure that fall from her lips. In tasting the arousal that floods her folds as she eats her out. 

“I told you to look at me,” Eliza says teasingly. Maya holds herself up on her elbows once more, but just the sight of Eliza’s face between her legs makes shivers run down her spine. “Watch me lick you,” she insists. Maya tries her best, her eyes rolling back and hips jerking as Eliza licks her clit and her labia in a steady rhythm. Eliza makes eye contact with her and they gaze at each other with a whole new level of intensity and admiration. Eliza sucks on her labia and then her clit, and Maya feels a jolt of pleasure through her body that knocks her onto her back once more. Eliza keeps sucking on her clit, knowing that’s what is going to get her there.

Eliza eats her pussy nice and slow and sucks her clit until Maya lets out a loud, strangled moan that rings in Eliza’s ears and her hips fly off the bed. Her thighs lock around Eliza’s head, and she cums on Eliza’s mouth. Eliza licks her until she relaxes back down, at which point she kisses up her stomach to her breasts and sucks on her nipples while gently working a finger inside her.

“Oh, I don’t know if I can,” Maya gasps, her pussy swollen and sensitive from her orgasm. 

“I’ll be gentle, tell me if you want to stop,” Eliza replies. She starts with just one finger, slowly stroking her walls. Once Maya settles a little, she slides in a second. Eventually, she curls them and finds her g-spot, and Maya groans loudly while Eliza runs her teeth across her collarbone. “Relax,” Eliza mumbles, knowing Maya is tightening up. She fingers her deep and slow, occasionally letting her palm rub on her clit. Maya tugs her up so that they can kiss while Eliza fucks her, the kisses helping Maya relax into the overwhelming pleasurable sensations surrounding her. Eliza fingers her torturously slowly until she cums again under her, moans muffled by Eliza’s mouth, her legs locked firmly around Eliza’s hips. Eliza sucks her fingers clean and Maya watches her, awestruck. 

“Get on my face,” Maya instructs, tugging Eliza’s hips up. 

“Are you sure?” Eliza asks. She’s actually never sat on anyone’s face before, and is kind of nervous. Maya nods and helps her into position. “Like, pinch me or something if I’m strangling you?” 

Maya laughs. “You’re not going to strangle me, I’ve got you. Just do what feels good, don’t worry about me,” she explains. And, in true fashion, Eliza forgets about all of her concerns once Maya’s mouth starts working on her soaked pussy. She moans, grips the headboard, and starts to grind on her, telling her exactly how good it feels, holding nothing back. Maya helps hold her hips up and squeezes her ass playfully, and Eliza soaks her face. Maya is in heaven, having the opportunity to eat out Eliza while she grinds all over her face. And Eliza can barely form a sentence, dipping her head back and closing her eyes while another moan tumbles from her lips. 

Eliza grinds her folds on Maya’s mouth until she cums not just once, but twice, all over her face. Maya doesn’t miss a beat, helping her get from the first to the second even though she can’t feel her legs anymore. After the second orgasm, Eliza flops off of her, unable to hold herself up and too sensitive to take anymore. Maya helps her adjust and they share a few soft kisses as they position themselves for a cuddle break. 

“Is your hip okay?” Maya asks, as Eliza curls up next to her. Eliza chuckles—of course this is what Maya is thinking about right after mind-blowing sex. Eliza rests her head on Maya’s chest, wraps an arm around her waist and lets her right hip rest across Maya’s body. Maya moves a hand to draw patterns on her hip, still waiting for a response.

“It’s fine. Promise,” Eliza replies, pressing a soft kiss to Maya’s bare skin. It feels so intimate, Eliza clinging to the moment like it’s about to never happen again. Eliza is a pretty touchy person, which Maya had gotten used to over the course of the first year of their friendship. Eliza likes hugs and curling up on the couch with her friends in a completely non-romantic, non-sexual way. But the way Maya is touching her bare skin, feather light grazes as she draws patterns on her hip, exhaustion and serenity across her face, makes Eliza’s heart beat faster. Eliza looks up at Maya, catching her gaze. Maya’s eyes are soft and caring as she caresses her bare skin.

“You’re beautiful, Lize,” she whispers, leaning down to kiss Eliza’s forehead. She then closes her eyes. Eliza just lays still and listens as Maya’s breath evens out. Eliza tries to memorize everything about the moment—how Maya’s skin feels under hers, how she looks when she’s peacefully sleeping. How her hand feels on Eliza’s bare hip. The faint red marks across her body that surely are going to bruise soon. She doesn’t know how long she lays there thinking about Maya until she falls asleep. 

She wakes up a few hours later to the feeling of Maya pressing soft kisses on her stomach.

“You wanna go again?” Maya asks when Eliza’s eyes open, a smirk across her face. Eliza chuckles, exhaustion coming through. 

“If you’re doing the hard work, sure,” Eliza mumbles. Maya bites down on the soft skin on her defined abs teasingly before spreading her legs and climbing between them. The first time around, they’d both been so worked up that it had been a frenzy of arousal. This time, Maya takes her time getting her wet with her mouth. She’s gentle, licking softly through her folds, nudging her lips, running her hands over her hips and thighs. Watching as Eliza slowly gets aroused, her chest flushing, a hand falling to Maya’s hair, gently holding blonde locks. 

“That’s good,” Eliza adds, a bit more awake this time. Maya sucks gently on her folds, watching as Eliza squirms a little on the bed. “Like that,” she mumbles, her eyes falling closed and her head tilting back. Eliza has a new appreciation for Maya’s dedication to everything she does. Maya stays on her stomach until she’s made Eliza cum twice with her tongue, and then she rolls onto her back and tugs Eliza onto her face for yet another round, going until Eliza physically can’t handle it anymore and rolls off her face in a heap. 

Of course, if Eliza had her way she’d be Maya’s girlfriend. She’s never told Maya that, in so many words, but she’s pretty confident Maya knows. Eliza’s a relationship person, and Maya’s not. They’d talked about it before, but not in the context of their *own* interactions. Maya is essentially her girlfriend without the label or fancy dates. 

The only person they tell about their situation is Eliza’s twin, Katrina. Neither of them want their teammates to know, and Maya and her brother don’t really talk anymore. Katrina, however, comes to visit at least once per semester, and Eliza goes to LA to visit Katrina frequently as well. They’re two peas in a pod, and she knows she couldn’t hide what was going on from her sister for long, even if she wanted to.

“Why don’t you just ask her to be your girlfriend?” Katrina asks, a bit annoyed.

“It’s not her thing. She’ll panic and break it off if she thinks I want more,” Eliza insists. Katrina steals a grape from her plate and sighs dramatically. 

“She seems...immature,” Katrina notes. “Are you sure this is what you really want?” Katrina is a whole seven minutes older, which means she’s always tried to be the dominant twin. Eliza sighs.

“She’s not immature, she’s just...hyper-focused on running.”

“She’d hurt you in a heartbeat if you got in the way of her career,” Katrina reminds her. 

“Maybe,” Eliza replies. “But I love the fact that she’s ambitious and focused. And she makes me happy. What we have right now makes me happy. And I’m not getting in the way of her career, now or ever. Nobody is. No college athlete in this country can hold a candle to her.” 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” 

“I know. Neither do I.” 

Before Eliza knows it, her and Maya are in deep. For the most part, Maya is her dream girl. She cares for her, looks out for her, and brightens her days. One day, Eliza goes out with the team during the offseason, and she texts Maya to come pick her up when she gets annoyed with some girl who keeps trying to make a move on her. Maya crawls out of bed without a question, tosses on some joggers and a cutoff, and drives to pick Eliza up. She knows she could easily take a cab home, but if Eliza wants her there, she will be there.

Eliza then crawls into her passenger’s seat and gives her a kiss on the cheek and tells her she looks pretty before asking if they can drive thru Taco Bell. Since Maya can’t deny Eliza anything, she drives twenty minutes out of the way to go to Taco Bell. Eliza gets a soda and a bunch of tacos, and then they head back to their apartment. Maya helps Eliza in and plops her down on the couch in their living room. Maya pulls some fruit out of the fridge to eat while Eliza eats her tacos. 

“Taco?” Eliza offers, her mouth full. Maya laughs and shakes her head, but does take a sip of Eliza’s Mountain Dew. “Ewww,” Eliza mumbles when Maya takes a sip from her straw.

“Ew what?” Maya asks, her hands finding Eliza’s bare knees. 

“Ew you drank from my straw,” Eliza replies. Maya laughs and takes another sip. 

“So you’ll put your tongue in my mouth but don’t want me to drink from your straw?” Maya clarifies, chuckling. Eliza nods. 

“Kissing good. Straw bad,” she insists. Maya leans forward for a soft kiss and Eliza sighs happily against her. 

“Ok, let me clean up this garbage and then we can put you to bed?” Maya asks, kissing her forehead. 

“I’m not a toddler,” Eliza huffs, adjusting to lean her head on Maya’s lap, stopping her from moving. 

“Are you going to make me carry you to bed again?” Maya groans, stroking Eliza’s hair. Eliza doesn’t reply, too sleepy to talk. Maya waits until she falls asleep, and then moves her head off her lap so she can clean up the garbage. Then she walks over and picks Eliza up, carrying her bridal style into her room, and placing her down on the bed. She gets ready for bed and climbs in next to Eliza, who quickly curls herself around Maya’s body. Maya strokes her hair until she falls back asleep, and sighs in contentment. 

There’s a lot of easiness between them. Shared meals, shared study time, movie nights. Early morning warmup jogs, extra lifting sessions, the occasional night out. Maya is willing to be vulnerable with Eliza—something she doesn’t do with anyone else. She lets Eliza take care of her when she’s sick, hold her when she’s upset, and talk her down when she’s nervous. It makes Eliza feel special. 

And, of course, the sex is amazing. Considering that they are both relatively disciplined, serious people, their wild sides come out in their sex life. Once they discover that they both like living on the edge, they make it their mission to have sex in as many random places around campus and around town as they can. Empty classrooms, study rooms, cubicles in the library, dressing rooms. Experimenting with sex becomes their favorite self-indulgent pastime. They learn a few things that they don’t like—Eliza doesn’t like her ass to be involved, Maya hates being blindfolded. They learn about themselves, as well as their bodies, dreams and desires through being together. They win national titles and lose them, they get good grades and not-as-good grades, make it through drama with teammates and friends and even sometimes family members. Eventually, even Katrina starts to warm up to Maya. She sees how she cares for Eliza and how much Eliza loves her. 

To celebrate graduation, they decide to take a week-long trip to New York. Eliza is from Brooklyn, so she serves as Maya’s tour guide. Eliza loves art, so Maya goes out of her way to research smaller exhibits throughout the city in addition to the major attractions so that they can spend a lot of the weekend looking at art. Maya isn’t really an art person herself, but she does like to see Eliza light up and explain what she likes about different pieces. They stay with Eliza’s parents, who are quite familiar with Maya after years of seeing her at track meets and when they help Eliza move in and out each school year. Eliza always teases Maya for being a suck up to anyone in any position of authority, but she quite appreciates it when it means that her parents absolutely adore Maya because she becomes a darling angel around them.

After the trip to New York, Maya accepts an offer to run professionally with Nike in Portland, and Eliza follows her. She takes a job working in a lab researching exercise science and coaches high school track on the side while she starts putting medical school applications together. They get an apartment together and everything feels even more domestic than it did in college. Maya makes the protein shakes in the mornings and Eliza cooks dinner in the evenings. They each have their own room in the apartment, but somewhere along the way, Maya decides that they sleep in Eliza’s room. When Eliza gets home from a late shift or a night out with co-workers, she’ll find Maya asleep in her bed, as if it is her own. 

They have Eliza’s co-workers over for dinner one day, and then the questions start. All of them become convinced that Maya and Eliza are dating. And the evidence seems to add up. When they came over, Maya was cooking and wearing a shirt that they had seen Eliza wear to work earlier in the week. There are pictures of the two of them together everywhere—pictures from track meets, pictures from graduation, and just pictures of them hanging around, looking like a couple. Whenever they ask Maya and Eliza about how they both ended up moving to Portland after graduation, they stumble around awkwardly. And when they ask Maya if she’s dating anyone, Maya says “no” far too fast. So they decide to ask Eliza. In response, Eliza is incredibly defensive.

“It was just a question, I’m sorry,” her co-worker mumbles. “It just seemed like that was the vibe at dinner.” 

“It’s okay, it’s just people always say that and it’s not true. Just because we both like women and we live together doesn’t mean we are secretly dating,” Eliza snaps. They both know it’s more than just being women who like women who happen to live together, but Claire takes the hint and nobody ever brings it up again. 

As the Olympics get closer, Eliza starts to see a slow shift in Maya. Some nights, she sleeps in her own bed. Other times, she’ll be cuddled up on the couch with Eliza, but Eliza can feel that she isn’t really present. They start to have sex less frequently, and when they do, Maya is more assertive, and more detached. At first, Eliza just brushes it off as a busy couple of months, but it slowly becomes more and more difficult to ignore.

“Are you okay?” Eliza asks, seriously, one evening. They’re curled up in bed, naked, after what was probably the worst sex they’ve ever had. Maya was in her own head, and couldn’t let go, and couldn’t let Eliza make her feel good. Instead, Eliza had fingered her and licked her for the better part of an hour before Maya pushed her away, told her she needed a drink, and it ended there. 

“Yeah,” Maya says. “Just not in the mood, I guess.” 

“Are you...still attracted to me?” Eliza asks. She is scared to know the answer. Logically, she knows that what’s going on with Maya is all in her head—that it doesn’t actually have anything to do with her. But she can’t help but feel totally defeated by not being able to get off the girl she’s been having sex with for years. 

“Yes,” Maya responds, right away, turning to look at her. Maya cups her cheeks. “I promise, I’m still attracted to you. I’m just stressed about Olympic trials coming up,” she explains. She presses a soft kiss to Eliza’s lips and Eliza bites down on her lip, trying not to cry. 

“Are you sure?” Eliza asks, hesitant. 

“Positive,” Maya promises. 

But it’s all downhill from there. Maya starts deciding she’s too busy for movie nights and dinners together and hikes on days off. She spends all of her waking time when she’s not practicing either watching tapes, journaling about her day at practice, stretching, or doing something else related to running. Eliza has never seen her like this before, and it starts to scare her. One night, Maya is sitting in her own bed watching race footage, and Eliza climbs in to sit with her, curling up next to her.

“Not now,” Maya snaps. 

“Not now what? I’m just trying to sit with you. I miss you,” Eliza tells her, offended. 

“Whatever you’re here for, now isn’t the time,” Maya explains. She pauses the video and looks at her, cold. 

“Can I just...sit with you while you watch it?” Eliza questions. “You don’t even have to talk to me.” 

“If I wanted to sit with you I’d be in your bed,” Maya notes. Eliza nods and slowly pulls herself away, walking over to her own room and closing the door. She climbs into her bed and pulls the pillow over her face to muffle her cries, ashamed at herself for being so childish. Maya has never talked to her like this, never not wanted to cuddle with her. She feels rejected and unwanted. 

When Katrina asks how Maya is doing, Eliza lies and says she’s good. Katrina can tell, even over the phone from hundreds of miles away, that Eliza is lying and things are not good. But she doesn’t know what to do, or what to say, or how she could possibly fix it. If Eliza wanted her help, she’d ask. Katrina tells herself that Maya is probably just stressed and it’ll pass. 

Eliza tells herself the same thing. The Olympic trials come, and Maya tells Eliza that she doesn’t want her to travel to Atlanta for the competition with her. So Eliza watches her qualify to run at the Olympics on television, alone, like she isn’t the person who has been there for Maya through it all. She’s hurt but she remembers that the Olympics is about Maya, and if Maya didn’t want her there, she needs to respect that. She distracts herself by making Maya’s favorite cheat meal for when she gets home. And when Maya walks in and drops her bags, Eliza jumps on her, hugging her tight and congratulating her.

“Thanks,” Maya mumbles, working her way out of her arms. She hesitantly eats her favorite meal and lets Eliza help massage her calves. And later that evening, she even pulls off Eliza’s shorts and goes down on her. Eliza cums embarrassingly fast because of how long it’s been since Maya has touched her. And then, when Eliza tries to reciprocate, Maya tells her she’s too tired, and goes to spend the night in her own room. 

It’s then that Eliza realizes that things aren’t magically better just because Olympic trials are over. Indeed, it seems like Maya was forcing herself to spend time with her, and not enjoying herself. The intimacy is gone. And she realizes it may just never come back. 

Eliza finally puts the pieces together a couple of weeks later. The team she coaches was supposed to have a meet, but they got rained out, so Eliza comes home hours before she’s expected to. She quietly slides in the door, hoping to surprise Maya, who she knows also has the afternoon off. When she gets in, she hears what sounds like yelling coming from Maya’s room. She listens to Maya’s side of the conversation while making a snack, not purposefully, but she couldn’t exactly avoid it. 

“I am not distracted, and I wasn’t at trials! I ran a PB. I’m fine, everything is fine.” 

“She didn’t even come! Eliza is just my roommate.” 

“We don’t even spend that much time together anymore! I am not throwing anything away for anyone. Our lease is up in May, I’ll move then.” 

“I’m not going to lose at the Olympics. Stop saying that.” 

She hears Maya start to cry, and then a few minutes later, the line goes dead. She hasn’t heard Maya sob like this ever. Eliza is pretty confident it was Maya’s dad on the phone, and doesn’t know what to do. Does she go comfort her? Pretend she wasn’t here? Make dinner? She’s hurt by hearing Maya say that she’s just her roommate, that they don’t even spend time together anymore, that she is going to move out in May. Eliza is used to Maya dismissing their relationship, but this hurts on a new level. 

She’s mad at Maya for how she’s been treating her recently and how she just talked about her on the phone, but she still feels for her. She can tell her dad is making her miserable, and she feels guilty that her dad seems to think that being around Eliza is Maya’s problem. A lot of Maya’s behavior over the past few months starts to make more sense, and Eliza finds it in herself to walk to Maya’s room and knock on the door. 

“Go away,” Maya snaps, almost hiccuping through her tears. Instead, Eliza opens the door. Maya is sitting on the floor of her bedroom, in the corner, curled up. Eliza walks over and sits down next to her. “What did I just say?!” 

“I’m not leaving you like this,” Eliza insists. She goes to rest her hand on Maya’s thigh and Maya jerks her leg away like she has been burned. 

“Get out,” Maya snaps, more aggressively this time. 

“Maya,” Eliza says, her heart breaking for her person. “Please let me comfort you. You don’t have to go through this alone.” 

“I don’t need you or anyone else,” Maya tells her, stone cold. Eliza nods, and slowly walks away. She tried. And she thinks maybe this is what Maya needs to start processing how abusive her dad is and repairing her and Maya’s relationship. So she walks back to her own room, closes the door, and waits, hoping that once Maya cries it out, once Maya sleeps on it, Maya will come to her senses and start to fix things. 

But the next day, she gets home from work to see boxes all over the apartment. Dread immediately sets in, and she’s hit with the sadness that Maya might be leaving her. Until she sees what is definitely an open box of her own high school running trophies, and walks around the corner to see Maya packing up Eliza’s room, not her own. 

“Um, what are you doing?” Eliza asks, seething with anger. “That’s my stuff.” 

“You’re moving out,” Maya explains. 

“You can’t pack up my stuff and kick me out. I also live here and I also pay half the rent. If you don’t want to live with me anymore, you should move out. I’m not leaving,” Eliza insists. She stands in front of Maya, between Maya and her closet, which Maya was yet to start packing up. 

“No. I can’t move right now, in case you forgot, I’m going to the Olympics.” 

“Oh, okay, so you don’t have time to move because you have the Olympics in six months, but you do have time to ruin our relationship and pack up my entire half of the apartment?” Eliza exclaims. She’s never been this angry in her life. 

“There is no relationship to be ruined,” Maya snaps. “The college roommates and sex thing was fun. College is over. So is the sex. And now, so is the roommates.” 

“College sex thing, wow, that’s truly more low than I ever thought you’d go! This is not who you are. Your dad may have abused you, but you don’t need to be him. I did nothing wrong and you do not get to treat me like this.” 

“Don’t you DARE call my dad abusive,” Maya yells. And that’s when Eliza starts to cry. 

“I love you, Maya,” Eliza begs, tears streaming down her face. “I’m in love with you. Don’t do this to me.” She always told herself she would never let it end like this. That if Maya ever ended it, she would let her go. But here she is, sobbing and screaming about how she’s in love with Maya. Because she knows Maya is better than this. She knows Maya’s father is abusive, and she knows Maya doesn’t need to become him. And she’s spent the past few months watching her partner become the abuser and letting her do it because she was stupid enough to think it was temporary.

“I’m not in love with you,” Maya tells her, stone-faced. Eliza’s blood runs cold, and her sobs fall faster. “And I never have been.” 

“You are evil,” Eliza mumbles, before turning to walk away. She knows Maya is lying. She was there, for all of those nights spent cuddled up on the couch or in bed, all of the intimate touches, all of the compliments, all of the times Maya dragged herself out of bed at 1am to pick Eliza up from a party, all of the times Maya helped her through an injury or a difficult time in school. She was there when Maya cupped her chin and gazed into her eyes and they didn’t say it but they both were thinking it. She was there when Maya touched her like she was the only thing that mattered in the world, when Maya laughed and hugged her close when Eliza would tell her silly jokes, when she'd hold her from behind while she cooked and kiss her neck playfully. 

She wants to scream and yell and push Maya to the ground. But no matter how terrible Maya is to her, she isn’t going to let that take who she is. So she walks out, and slams the front door, and finally calls Katrina. 

She has a panic attack while trying to tell Katrina everything that has happened sitting in her car in the apartment complex parking lot. Katrina talks her through it and then tells her to check into a hotel. By the time Eliza is done telling the story, Katrina is through security at LAX. Eliza falls asleep in a puddle of tears in the hotel bed while Katrina is in the air. She takes an Uber to the hotel and when she knocks on the door to Eliza’s room, she wakes her up. Eliza is disoriented but feels like the weight of the world is sitting on her chest. It takes her a few seconds to remember what happened, but her body didn’t forget, even while it was asleep. 

She walks over and opens the door, still wearing all of the clothes she wore to work earlier in the day, her hair messy and her face stained with tears. Katrina pulls her into a big hug and Eliza cries all over again. 

A few days later, Katrina goes over to the apartment while Maya is at practice and packs up all of Eliza’s things. She leaves Eliza’s key on the kitchen island. It takes all of her restraint not to seek Maya out and fight her for doing this to her sister. But that’s not what Eliza wants, and Eliza needs to come first right now. 

Katrina helps Eliza find an apartment on basically no notice and helps her move in. And then, she has to leave, both of them having taken a full week off of work. 

When Maya wins the gold medal at the Olympics that summer, Eliza can’t even bring herself to watch. She sees her face everywhere—on cereal boxes, on television advertisements, in their college team GroupMe. She silences all the group chats and blocks her name on all social media. She hopes that Maya thinks the gold medal was worth ruining the only healthy relationship she ever had with the only person who ever loved her without abusing her.

Maya is miserable. Her ankle sprain becomes a fracture that displaces, causing her severe pain and leading to her decision to hang up her track shoes. She nurses her body back to health for a while, and once it is healed, heads off to travel. She starts off in Europe before eventually heading to Nepal to trek to Everest Base Camp. Traveling alone is freeing and mind-opening, but it is also lonely. She can’t help but see Eliza in everything, even after she gets back. She never did give back a couple of Eliza’s hoodies that she’d accumulated over the years of being together, and sometimes, when she’s particularly sad and lonely, she cuddles up with one of them. They lost her smell a long time ago, but they remind her of what it felt like to not be alone.

Eliza and Katrina head to UCSF for medical school the fall after the London Olympics. It is a dream school for both of them, and being able to go together means the world. Slowly, being immersed in medical school, living with her twin sister again, and meeting new people starts to heal her. Eliza starts going out a lot more, partying and socializing, meeting girls and having casual sex. She’s not ready for another relationship, but she is learning about who she is and what she wants outside of track and outside of Maya. 

They both thrive in medical school. They’re top students and both heavily involved in the social culture. Katrina starts dating a guy in their class year early in their second year of school, and being in a long term relationship mellows her out even more. Their roles slowly shift back to how they were as teenagers, with Katrina doing chores and making sure they’re both prepared for their exams and picking Eliza up from the bar late at night and kicking out her one night stands in the morning. During their third year of school, Katrina and the boyfriend break up, and Eliza brings home a few bottles of wine for them to split.

“It’s been almost three years, Lize,” Katrina tells her.

“I thought this was supposed to be about your breakup, not mine,” Eliza reminds her. 

“It is, but. You and Maya—” 

“Don’t say her name. Please,” Eliza begs. Katrina nods. 

“Okay. Well. It’s been three years. And there are so many hot, queer women in this city who want to do more with you than just have sex and get kicked out by your twin. Where’s your head at?” Katrina questions.

“It’s not that I don’t want to date, I just haven’t found the right person yet,” Eliza assures her. Katrina knows that she’s lying to herself, that she is terrified of being in love again, that she still hasn’t healed and hasn’t processed what Maya did to her. 

“You two were together for what? Four years? That’s a long time to invest in someone to have them do to you what she did.” 

“I don’t want to talk about me tonight,” Eliza begs once again. Katrina drops it, but every time she sees Eliza take someone home from the bar or invite a Tinder date over, her worry re-surfaces. She loves Eliza with all her heart. She knows Eliza has more love to give, more care and more passion than anyone else she’s ever met. And she doesn’t like that Maya has taken that from her.

A few months later, they find themselves in the middle of their last finals week of medical school. They decide to go out for one drink on a Tuesday night to unwind before their exam the next day, because they’re both stressed from studying all day. One drink becomes several for Eliza, and quite a few for Katrina, as well. And before they know it, it’s well after midnight. 

“Oh my god, Katrina, we have to get home!” Eliza insists, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. “Please drive me home?” 

“I’m also drunk,” Katrina laughs. “We can just leave the car here and come back in the morning and get it and take an Uber home.” 

“But I have an exam in the morning! You only had a couple of drinks, please? I really need to sleep” Eliza begs. She’s way too drunk to be making clear decisions, and thinks Katrina is fine, because she’s also too drunk to realize Katrina isn’t fine. 

Katrina is just drunk enough to not be fine, but just sober enough to be able to convince herself that she only had a few drinks and it’s probably fine. So, against her better judgment, she gets in the car, putting her drunk sister in the passenger’s seat. 

“Woah, everything is spinning!” Eliza exclaims a few minutes later. It takes her a minute to realize it’s not just her head spinning because she’s drunk, but the car is spinning, and before she can brace herself, they are slamming into a tree. 

The rest of the night is a blur. She finds herself in an ambulance, and then she’s getting her head stitched up, and then she’s stuck in a room getting fluids, looking over at her sister. 

“I’m sorry,” Eliza says, reaching for her hand. Katrina is sitting in the chair next to her, and takes her hand.

“It’s not your fault, Lize. I just shouldn’t have listened to you.” 

Just minutes later, Katrina’s hand falls out of hers and she collapses off of the chair and hits the ground. 

“KATRINA?” Eliza exclaims, pressing the button to call for the nurse. It’s like the world moves in slow motion—the nurse running in upon hearing the bang, a team of people getting Katrina onto a gurney, wheeling her out of the room. It feels like an eternity until a doctor comes, sits down in the chair her sister was just in sitting in before talking to her, perfectly fine, and tells her that her twin sister is dead. An epidural hematoma that they didn’t catch on her initial scan. 

Suddenly, the only people Eliza ever felt close to in this world and fully trusted are gone. Eliza struggles with suicidal ideation in the wake of Katrina’s death. Some days, she can't shake the feeling of how much she wants to die. She thinks she should have died, not Katrina, because she was the one who wanted Katrina to get in the car. Her parents put together the funeral, back in Brooklyn. For weeks, Eliza looks like a ghost, her skin paler than ever. She refuses to eat, refuses to participate in any activity, refuses to talk, refuses to cry. Her parents force her into therapy, which doesn’t do anything until she finally decides she wants to do it for herself, at which point, everything that’s happened over the past five years comes flowing out and she finally, finally starts to process. 

Grief is heavy. Eliza takes a gap year between graduating medical school and starting her residency, and she learns how to paint. Talk therapy is something she starts to do because she knows she needs to if she wants to create a sustainable way to live her life going forward, and because she knows Katrina wants her to live. Art therapy is how she survives day to day. 

Maya sees the news about Katrina’s passing in the college team group chat just weeks before she starts at the fire academy. She feels helpless and confused. Not knowing what else to do, she anonymously donates $100 to the family GoFundMe to pay for funeral expenses, and then spontaneously buys a plane ticket to New York. She knows she’s the last person Eliza wants to see, so she hides in the back of the church during the service and then sneaks out before anyone could possibly see her. A few days after the burial, Maya goes to her grave. She sits down in front of it and apologizes for hurting her sister. Maya knows what she did to Eliza wasn’t right, and that she hurt her. But it’s not until years later, when her dad grabs her hair and her head jerks back, that she’s forced to accept reality. 

“So, I have some ideas, but I want to know why you think it took you so long to accept that your father was abusive? Especially because you say that your friends and your former partners have tried to tell you,” her therapist questions. 

“Because accepting that he abused me means accepting that I abused the people that I love, too,” Maya admits. “I’m not… I don’t want to be an abuser.” Denial is a strong force, especially because abuse works in cycles. 

For the first time, she tells someone the truth about her and Eliza. About the good years, about how Eliza was so understanding and about how she made them hide it. And about the months of icing her out and the callous, terrible way she ended it. 

Accepting that she had been abused and learning about positive relationships and effective communication is a long journey for Maya. It is tiresome and draining and at times feels hopeless. She questions her purpose in life, questions her worth, questions her value. Her therapist and her friends and her mother know, deep down, that Maya has a good heart. That she loves people and is capable of re-writing her story. The exercise requires her to sit with humility and to re-define who she is and what she is about. 

Over time, Maya reconstructs herself. Her Station 19 family accepts her growing process and generally love their new and improved Maya, with all the discipline but more emotional intelligence and maturity. The hardest thing about healing is that she can’t bring herself to try to date. She’s afraid of messing it up, of hurting the other person, of reverting back to the person who looked Eliza Minnick dead in the eyes and told her she never loved her. Memories of that version of herself haunt her. 

Eliza becomes an orthopedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine and a pioneer education consultant for medical training programs. It allows her the flexibility to move around a lot. She dates wherever she is while she can, and then breaks it off and moves to the next city. On her down time, she paints. 

Eventually, work leads her to Seattle. She hadn’t as much as put Maya’s name into Google since the London Olympics, so doesn’t have the slightest clue that Maya is now Captain Bishop, of Station 19 of the Seattle Fire Department. 

She struggles to fit in at Grey Sloan Memorial. The rest of the surgeons are, in her opinion, acting like a high school clique desperate to protect her predecessor instead of adult surgeons in a professional workplace. She’s tried to hit on one of them, yet another blonde lesbian, her type, but Arizona Robbins doesn’t seem that interested, which is what it is. 

One night, she’s on a walk by the water, trying to clear her head from yet another stressful day at work. Suddenly, she catches a glimpse of a woman with short, blonde hair sitting in the grass, looking out at the water. Eliza looks over at her as she approaches the woman and then stops dead in her tracks. The woman turns around, hearing Eliza’s movement, and their eyes meet from afar. Maya thinks she must be seeing a ghost. 

“Eliza?” She asks, her voice quivering. 

“Maya?” Eliza asks, confused and timid. 

“I can go,” Maya mumbles, moving to get up. 

“What are you doing here?” Eliza asks, walking closer and sitting down, leaving an awkwardly large amount of space between them.

Maya could cut the tension with a knife. “Like, Seattle, or?” 

“I meant here, here,” Eliza replies, her small chuckle softening the tension.

“Oh, I just...need the quiet. But I don’t want to interrupt you.” 

“You’re not,” Eliza assures her. “The darkness is healing.” 

They sit near each other on the grass, just staring into the evening sky, looking over the water.

“I’m, uh, sorry about Katrina,” Maya says. At this point, it’s been more than a few years since Katrina’s passing, but it hits Maya that she hasn’t ever told Eliza that she’s sorry for her loss. 

“I am, too,” Eliza replies evenly. “You know, I’ve thought so many times about what I would say if I ever saw you again,” Eliza says with a laugh. “I spent years rehearsing a speech about how you used me and threw me away. About how terribly you treated me.” 

“I deserve it,” Maya replies.

“You do,” Eliza reminds her. 

“I was abused, and I abused you too,” Maya admits. “The way I loved you was the only way I knew how to love. I knew that how I treated you was wrong but I didn’t do anything to be better. And I’m so sorry that I hurt you, that I let him convince me that you were my problem when you were really the solution,” Maya explains. 

“You didn’t love me,” Eliza says, coldly. 

“I didn’t know how to, and I was scared, and ashamed, and fucked up, but I was madly in love with you.” 

“People who love other people don’t do to them what you did to me.” 

“Sometimes they do,” Maya explains. “It’s not an excuse. What I did to you was unforgivable.” 

“I’m not the same person I used to be,” Eliza tells her.

“Neither am I,” Maya says.

“You leaving me and then losing Katrina...changed me,” Eliza admits. “I’m still angry and sad. I can’t trust anyone and I can’t stay in one place for too long.” 

“You have the best heart of anyone I’ve ever met.” 

“Not anymore. I’m now the ‘hurt before you get hurt’ type.” 

“That may be how you’re acting, because of the trauma that life put you through. But that’s not who you are,” Maya reminds her.

“When did you become emotionally well-adjusted?” Eliza asks. Maya laughs. “You sound like my therapist.” 

“About a year after I accepted that my dad was abusive,” Maya replies. 

“And how long ago was that?” Eliza asks. 

“A couple of years ago,” Maya admits. “It, uh, took me a long time. And processing it was hard.” 

“I’m happy for you,” Eliza replies. “You deserve to be able to work through that.” 

“I’m sad for you. It’s okay for you to be angry at me.” 

“I am,” Eliza admits, quietly. Maya nods. 

“I understand.” 

They sit in silence for the next hour, neither wanting to be the first one to get up and leave. 

“You know, I always felt like I never got closure with you,” Eliza tells her, standing up. 

“Is this your closure?” Maya asks. 

“You’re a villain in my story, Maya. But I’m glad that you are learning how not to repeat your mistakes. I feel like I now have the power to forgive you, to let you go, to reclaim the piece of me that I left with you all of those years ago.” 

Maya’s heart breaks all over again as Eliza walks away. She feels her lip quivering and her heart racing and her fingers dig into the grass. She tries to focus on her breathing, to no avail. 

But then Eliza stops, and turns back towards Maya, rooted in place. The moonlight reflects off Eliza’s face and it reminds Maya of what it felt like to be loved. Maya stands and walks towards Eliza, and a beat later, Eliza starts walking towards her, too. They meet in the middle, and embrace each other in a hug. Maya’s head falls to Eliza’s shoulder, and Eliza’s arms squeezing around her waist. 

“You’re a hero in my story,” Maya whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for sticking with this piece for this out-of-the-box pairing. it's been floating around and i've been working on it since the summer, and it means a lot to me to tell this kind of story about maya's abuse journey and eliza's grief journey. i took a lot of maya and eliza's stories from canon, but obviously deviated in quite a few places in the later stages. i hope that even people who didn't love Eliza in Grey's can come around to this characterization of her.
> 
> please let me know what you thought of the ending! do you like it? what do you think it means? i think i'll probably leave this piece here, but i'm also not opposed to the idea of creating an epilogue if people are left confused or unsatisfied or just want more. and of course, if you have any other thoughts as well, drop a comment!


End file.
